Monday, August 06, 2012
Sometimes what people say and what they do are two different things. I find this especially true with men. I think of myself as a pretty good body language reader. I may not always be able to tell you what, exactly, they are doing, but I can tell you what they are thinking. Their eyes, their hand motions, even the way they are standing tell me what they are thinking.
Now, there are some extreme examples. One man I dated had a huge disconnect between his body language and his higher thinking. He was very smart, but very unaware of what his body was saying. Take, for example, his flirting. The man flirted unconsciously! He leaned forward as he spoke, touched my hand or my arm, and brushed my knee with his, all while talking about something completely unrelated. Then, when I laughed and brought it up, he looked shocked.
“I did?” he asked, looking down to find his hand on mine.
Of course, neither of us protested, but I found it amusing. Eventually, however, I had to confront him about it. It caused him a lot of problems, in his dating and his business life. After all, if you can’t control your body broadcasting what you are thinking, you are going to end up offending or aggravating a lot of people. Everyone could tell when he was annoyed, thought you were dumb, or just plain impatient. He came off rude, not matter what he said, because of his body language.
You wouldn’t think something so simple would be so hard, but it can be. Be aware of what signals your body is sending, especially when you date.