Monday, February 27, 2012

When is Infidelity Acceptable? By Miss Know it All

Miss Know It All

I read an article in the November 2011 issue of AARP Magazine titled, When the Vow Breaks written by Mary A. Fischer. The piece begins with a husband whose wife is suffering from dementia, and how he spends every Saturday afternoon with his girlfriend.

After reading this editorial, the question is, “Is infidelity ever acceptable if a significant other is physically or mentally incapacitated?”

When couples vow to remain faithful, for better or for worse and in sickness and in health, sometimes that promise can become ambiguous if a spouse is not able to give or receive emotional or physical fulfillment because of a debilitating illness.

Most people agree that there is never any excuse for stepping outside of a marriage. However, some health professionals, social workers and religious leaders are beginning to redefine what adultery is when failing health becomes an issue. A few experts believe that establishing a relationship outside of the marriage could be beneficial to the caregiver and the person, who is suffering from a deteriorating disease.

Adultery is defined as sexual unfaithfulness of a married person. If a new definition of infidelity is suggested, perhaps the declarations recited during a wedding ceremony may also have to be modified.

What are your thoughts about this issue? Is it ever okay to commit adultery if a spouse cannot fulfill his or her partner’s physical or emotional needs because of fading health? Do you know of any couples who are presently going through this dilemma?

Monday, February 20, 2012

Meet Siggy Buckley, Author of Next Time Lucky - Lessons of a Matchmaker

Siggy Buckley, Author

Cherie, a professional matchmaker from Dublin, Ireland, faces the ultimate challenge when she tries to find a soul mate for herself. She surfs the risky waves of the Internet and flies around the world to adventures, disappointments and not a few surprises. Chat rooms prove to be intoxicating, and Cherie feels like in a kid in a candy store. Among the Lotharios, she encounters are recycled bachelors, breezy islands of ego, fly-by-nights, birds of paradise, commitment phobics, and the odd sex maniac. She learns the hard way that it's easy come, uneasy go at this smorgasboard of cyber-dreamboats.

Her story is an intriguing read, offering a revealing glimpse into the world of cyber romance for singles that are toying with the idea, for those who haven't dared yet, or those who just want to compare notes. It also discloses practical advice for modern day's mate selection through the eyes of a dating expert, both on the Internet and in the real world.

With insight and great humor, Siggy Buckley tells the sassy story of a modern woman's dilemma of being independent yet longing for coupledom.


Ms. Buckley, thank you for allowing One World Singles Magazine Blog peek into the world of a professional matchmaker.

I enjoyed reading Next Time Lucky. It is a captivating read. Since the novel is based on your life as a professional matchmaker and the owner of an import wine business, what type of feedback or comments have you received from the people whose lives the book is loosely based on? Honestly, I got very little but I’m not unhappy about it. I was afraid that George’s wealthy and well-known family might sue me…}Somebody explained to me that such a book, of such an intimate nature is too close to home for some people and that’s why they refrained from commenting. My now grown-up children refuse to read it!

Which was the most demanding, running a matchmaking agency, an import wine business or writing Next Time Lucky? They all had their challenges as you can imagine. Running the matchmaking agency became frustrating after a while when people were unhappy with my choices or their relationships broke up after some time. I often felt like an agony aunt. The wine business was challenging first as I could only tell a red from a white when I took it over. I had to learn a lot fast. After that, it was the physical strain on my back carrying the cases etc. Writing the book was fun. Finishing it was demanding, trying to sell the manuscript was frustrating. I had an agent for a year who didn’t sell it. That was outright nailbiting. It was out of my hands at that stage.

Who or what inspired you to become an author. My now husband, the love of my life whom I found at the end of the book. I had only kept a diary of my encounters. He suggested to turn it into a book and encouraged me all along. He even proofread it. He is my biggest fan!

Have you ever had writer’s block, and if so, how did you overcome it. I’m lucky in that respect that I can write when it suits me, there are no deadlines etc. Sometimes I worry that I haven’t submitted an article for a while or posted a blog. Out of a sudden, a topic pops up out of nowhere and the writing then flows.

From where do you get your story ideas? I usually write about my own experiences. See my second eBook Home Swapping Secrets. I’m working on a third called “I once had a Farm in Ireland”; you could say that is directly taken out of my life as well, based on my years as a farmer’s wife. I’m afraid I have no imagination to craft stories around vampires, concoct whodunits or political intrigues.

As a writer, what has been your biggest test that you have overcome? Keeping the first manuscript in the drawer after x-amount of refusals and to believe in yourself and keep writing.

Are you planning to write any more books in the near future? See above. In addition, again, a biographical story playing in Ireland about abuse by the Catholic Church in the 60s that happened to my former housekeeper, Pauline.

What advice would you give someone who is thinking about writing a book? Do it, but don’t expect to become the next bestselling author and make oodles of money. It’s a time-consuming hobby. Keep your day job!

When it comes to writing, how do you manage your time? As I’m a chronic pain patient, my schedule is dictated by how I feel. A set time schedule doesn’t suit me, but I like to get started in the mornings, potter around the house and do some more in the afternoons.

What advice would you give an author who receives a negative review on his or her book? Don’t take it personally. I do, but one shouldn’t. You cannot please all the people all the time. Believe it or not, there are people who don’t like candy or a glass of excellent wine!

Thank you for allowing us to dialogue with you. Do you have any words of wisdom for future authors? In my experience, writing is like a bug. Once you get it - you can’t stop! Enjoy and go with the flow! Thank you for your interest! The pleasure was all mine!

About the Author:

Former matchmaker par excellence - or Dating Guru as the Irish media liked to call her - Ms. Buckley was born in
Germany. Having achieved a Masters Degree in English, she got married, had two children and then emigrated to Ireland with her family for the GOOD LIFE.

Involuntary life on an Irish farm produced a crop of misgivings and the break-up of her marriage. Single again, she launched a dating service in
Dublin, which eventually planted the seeds for her book, Next Time Lucky.
She is now happily married and lives in the USA, writes for American Chronicles and Opednews and writes a blog that deals with her previous life on an organic farm called "I once had a farm in Ireland," at In and Out of Ireland.
The author is also the proud new international member of the
National League of American Pen Women.


Links to Author’s Sites

Special Note: As of today and until February 24, 2012, Next Time Lucky is FREE on Kindle. To download the book, click here.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Learning to Listen to your Dating Site Partner by Cara Michaels

Have you ever had a conversation with your dating site partner, and it seemed as though he was listening to you, but then moments later he can’t remember your words?  This is a very common problem.  Paying attention to what another is saying and not simply nodding your head and drifting off with your own thoughts is essential if you want to make your relationship work.  Communication is key and listening is probably the number one element in good communication skills.

You don’t need to interrupt at every turn.  Wait until your dating site partner is finished with what he has to say, and then ask questions or give your perspective in regard to the conversation.  Actively listening doesn’t mean you interrupt; it means you actively take in the information your partner is communicating to you. You should keep eye contact and nod and react to what he’s saying in order to show him that you are actively involved in the conversation.

If your partner is on a roll and they are talking and talking and talking and you don’t want to interrupt, train yourself to remember the thought that popped into your head so you can let him finish what he’s saying.  Or, you can quickly jot down your thought if it’s really important enough to bring it up after he’s finished speaking.  Learning the give and take of conversation is a real art and it is essential if you’re going to move forward with your relationship.

Part of being in a well-rounded relationship is allowing your partner to talk and speak their mind when they need to.  Being there to show your support without getting defensive or opinionated.  Allowing your partner the opportunity to go off if need be, without interrupting or derailing the conversation.  If this happens all the time, this may be an issue to address within the boundaries of your relationship.  But if from time to time, your partner is simply asking you to sit and listen to him, then it’s one of the many things you can do to show how much you care.

Author Bio: Cara Michaels is constantly sought after by friends and family for relationship advice. She has taken her knowledge to the web and frequently writes for Online Dating Sites.

Monday, February 06, 2012

Announcing the D.I.N.E. Cruise

The cruise departs from Miami and heads to the Bahamas from May 4-7, 2012. It is an opportunity for matchmakers, dating coaches, authors and dating and relationship experts to come together. The focus will be on matchmaking and dating coaching, having some fun in the sun and networking with old and new colleagues. Cabin prices begin at $350. For more details, click here.