Introducing Gregory Delaurentis, Author of Cover of Darkness

BLURB 

A high profile murder of a Wall Street executive in Westchester pits three people against the criminal underbelly of Manhattan nightlife. The key players are two ex-cops turned private investigators—Kevin Whitehouse, whose sharpest tool is his keen analytical mind, and David Allerton, a former Special Forces operative—and Margaret Alexander, Kevin’s lover. In their search for a killer, they are forced to travel to the edge of sanity and morality, while stumbling onto their own confusing secrets as well. The Cover of Darkness is a gritty noir saga that untangles a web of deceit in the course of tracking down a brutal murderer.

EXCERPT

The pool area was wide and reflected the sun on this hot summer day. It was edged with white marble so polished that it looked like pearl. Deck chairs lined the sides of the long pool, which was two lengths more than Olympic-sized. Outside the deck area was the carpeted lawn of the vast backyard, dappled with sun.

Hugh Osterman walked along the side of the pool wearing a heavy terry cloth robe and sandals. In his right hand, he held a martini glass. He ran his left hand through his sandy sun-streaked hair as he looked over his shoulder at the man following him.

“What’s going on? I don’t get it,” Osterman said, stopping at the end of the pool where the flotation chairs were kept.

“They said no,” the man replied. Considering the backdrop, he was incongruously dressed in a dark suit and tie.

“They said no . . . just like that?”

Osterman sat his drink down on the marble surface, and pushed a flotation chair into the deep end of the pool, sending it out and away. Then he peeled off the robe and dove smoothly into the water, emerging next to the floating chair.

“You go back and tell them that we aren’t pleased,” Osterman said sternly, pulling himself up and into the seat of the chair. “You tell them that Hugh Osterman wants to know what’s holding things up—what the problem is.”

The suit just stood at the edge of the pool, opening his jacket against the heat of the day. Osterman paddled to the side, and reached out and retrieved his martini glass. “I take it you have nothing to say about this?” he persisted, despite the other man’s silence.

The suit shook his head.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Osterman said as he tipped the glass up to his lips. Suddenly, the bottom of the stem shattered. Osterman gurgled as he dropped the glass, blood bubbling from his mouth, an open tear in his neck. He jolted upright in the chair as the suit closed the distance between them, his Colt .38 Super still trained on its victim, its silencer smoldering.

Osterman slowly sat back as the suit pumped more rounds into Osterman’s bare, well-defined chest—the hot shells of his pistol ejecting out and striking the surface of the water, settling to the bottom. His life ended as his body tumbled from the floating chair, his blood a widening crimson slick roughly in the area where his body slipped through.

The suit popped his clip, slipped in a new one, and headed for the sprawling house.

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One randomly chosen commenter will win a $50 Amazon/BN gift card, a Rafflecopter giveaway

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AUTHOR INFORMATION 

Gregory Delaurentis spent his adult life roaming from job to job, working for Lockheed in California, various law firms in New York, and financial firms on Wall Street. Throughout this period of time, he was writing—unceasingly—finally producing a large body of work, albeit unrecognized and unpublished . . . until now. Cover of Darkness is the first in a series of upcoming books that include Edge of Darkness, Pale of Darkness and Cries of Darkness. These novels follow the lives of three individuals who do battle bringing criminals to justice, while they struggle to understand the complex relationships that exist among themselves. This intriguing trio has absorbed the attention of Mr. Delaurentis for the past year and a half, so much so he decided to self-publish their stories to bring them to a wider audience.

[AUTHOR’S DISCLAIMER: These are works of fiction. Name, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.]

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Must Read Books for Your Reading Pleasure

If you are looking for great books to add to your reading repertoire, we have listed two of our favorite stories from finding love on the Internet, to murder, and forbidden love.

Next Time Lucky: How to Find Your Mr. Right by Siggy Buckley.

Cherie, a 40-something divorcée from Dublin, Ireland, is on the rebound, looking for a soul mate the second time round. Love @ first click is intoxicating but she soon learns that today's mate selection rituals have become much more complicated than kissing a few frogs. This new edition has an appendix packed with dating tips and invaluable information for online daters, based on the author’s expertise as a dating counselor and an internet-dating pioneer.

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Backdoor Tales: Tears of the Serpent and September Love 

by SaBrowny Rae.

Explore the journey of the heart as you turn the pages of Backdoor Tales. Discover an unusual tale that links heaven and hell as Tears of the Serpent unveils the journey of a demon, reborn into human form in order to experience love…Follow through the forbidden love between a slave girl and a young man torn by jealousy, betrayal, and deception in September Love.

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Meet Myckelle Williams, Author of Choosing the Road Less Traveled: Finding Grace on the Path to Purpose

Myckelle Williams, Author

On her Virtual Book Tour, Myckelle Williams has stopped by to give you a preview of her book: Choosing the Road Less Traveled: Finding Grace on the Path to Purpose.

About The Book

Born in an environment of drugs, sex, broken relationships, and parental neglect, 18-year-old Myckelle Williams eventually faced a major crossroads in her own life, and the prospect of becoming a statistic, as a desperate teenager unexpectedly pregnant with her second unplanned child.  Like so many young women across America, she found herself literally at a ‘fork in the road’ while travelling life’s path.  Myckelle soon discovers that each choice in life come with a heavy price to pay, and is forced to decide whether or not to end her unplanned pregnancy. You will be amazed as Myckelle tells how one uncommon act of unselfish love by total strangers helped her to discover forgiveness, break generations of dysfunction, and walk away from destructive cycles that enabled her to change her life, and family, from the inside out.

Join Myckelle on a journey of hope, healing, and finding love in unexpected places, that include powerful life lessons for the reader with each new chapter. By pulling from Robert Frost’s poem, ‘The Road Not Taken’, you will be led on a journey of self- discovery, forgiveness, and the impact of everyday choices.  Her story of faith, courage, and victory over circumstance, contains powerful illustrations for women of all ages, races, and backgrounds, which provide guidance in creating new traditions and generational patterns in your own family, as well as breaking old strongholds and family patterns that threaten to keep you and your children from the Purpose that God intended. As she struggles with often agonizing acceptance of the consequences of her own choices, you too will be inspired to reflect on your own past decisions, and through her heartache learn about the miracle of life’s true purpose...and discover the unconditional reality of God’s unfailing love.

Book Excerpt

PROLOGUE

Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart for my holy purpose...I appointed you to be a prophet to the nations.

~Jeremiah 1:5

“I’d like to make an appointment...for an abortion.”

Desperation and shame filled my voice, and I hoped the lady on the other end didn’t know me or my parents.

“How many weeks are you? When was your last period?” The lady on the other end asks, seemingly not surprised, sounding more annoyed than anything else.

I gave her the dates she requested, asking “How much will that cost?”

Annoyed sigh. “You are fourteen-and-a-half weeks. Well, the process will be much longer because you are further along, but it will be $375 total.”

“Do you take Medicaid?”

“Yes.”

“When can I come in?

“Tuesday at 8 a.m.

“Do I need to bring anything?”

“Just your money, or Medicaid card, proof of pregnancy. And a ride home.”

I hung up and looked at my boyfriend. How were we going to afford that? We could barely afford to take care of our eleven month old son, the child I had had less than a year ago at age seventeen. “It’s cool.” He told me. “My sister has Medicaid. We can use her card. You just use her name and info.”

About The Author

Myckelle P Williams, co-founder of B.L.O.G. Magazine™, host of 'BLOGTalk Live!' monthly Christian radio show, and creator of the Heartwood Project™ for Women, lives in Tennessee with her husband of 20 years. She is the mother of 6 children and two grandchildren. Once a teen mother who overcame the odds, Myckelle helps empower women to overcome the traumas of their past, and mentors young women over the country. She was featured on "Joy in our Town" on TBN Network, for her development of the PURE Satisfaction™ Abstinence Program in Atlanta in 2009. She is the author of the book 'Choosing the Road Less Traveled: Finding Grace on the Path to Purpose,’ which is now available on amazon.com. For more information about her upcoming Heartwood Project™ Seminars, you can reach Myckelle at myckelle@mpowermentww.org

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How To Date in The 21st Century

The dating world can be an intimidating place, especially if you're getting back into the scene after an absence. It probably seems like everyone is looking for love, but real connections are hard to find. The popularity of online dating has skyrocketed in the past decade, making it one of the most attractive options for finding a date in today's world. However, meeting people in the real world can still be a great way to find dates.

Online Dating

Signing up for an online dating site can be an excellent way to meet people based on their interests and personalities. Here are some tips for entering into the online dating world.

1. Find the site that's best for you. You've probably seen ads for eharmony or match.com, and these are some of the most popular sites for people looking for long term relationships. But there are also sites that cater to specific groups of people, such as plus-sized singles or singles over 50. There are also some great sites for people looking to date others with similar religious beliefs.

2. Represent yourself honestly on your profile. It's easy for people to lie on the internet, but if really expect to meet someone in person, then it's a bad idea. Just be yourself, and don't try too hard to impress potential suitors.

3. Post a good pictures. People on dating sites are way more likely to message you if they know what your face looks like.

4. Make the first contact. If you've been out of the dating game for a while, you might be feeling shy, but don't just sit back and wait for other people to send you messages. If you see a profile of someone that interests you, contact them.

5. Video chat before going on a real date. Chatting on Skype or webcam can be a great way to talk before going out, especially if you live a long distance from each other. For women, a face-to-face chat can also give you an extra sense of safety before you meet in person.

Read World Dating

1. Go to places where you'll meet other singles. Find a single's group, or join a club where you'll meet people with similar interests. Going to bars is also a good way to meet other singles, but be aware that some people there just want a casual fling.

2. Try Speed Dating. Speed dating can be a fun way to meet new people. It forces you to put yourself out there, and if you don't click with someone, you only have to talk with them for a few minutes. Dress like you would for a normal date and have a few questions prepared in advance.

3. Have a good first date. Dress to impress without overdoing it, and have a few topics of conversation in mind so you can avoid awkward moments of silence. Also know what not to talk about. It's never a good idea to bring up past relationships on a first date, and try to avoid talk of politics or religion.

4. Even in the 21st century, men are expected to bring women flowers, open doors, and pay for dinner. In many cases, women will also expect men to plan the first date.

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This post comes from Jay at Escorts and Babes - If you're unlucky in love at the singles game, you can always go to escort route for a night or two.

Meet Sharea S. Harris, (Lady Harris) Writer, Director, and Producer

Lady Harris, Author of Identity Theft

Sharea Harris was raised in Buffalo, NY where she was introduced to poetry, arts and writing; and now resides in Charlotte, NC. She began writing her first novel “Betrayal” at the age of 19 and published it in 2010; since then she has published two poetry collections, and is working with a publisher on her next novel entitled “Identity Theft”. She believes in variety and diversity, and you can see this in her works. She never bores with the same subject but challenges her talent and reaches higher with each idea. She is now putting the finishing touches of her first Erotica collection of short stories entitled “Office Secrets”.

Since her move to Charlotte, she has expanded her talents in visual and performing arts. Producing her first stage play at the African American Cultural Center in 2004 “Confrontation”, and went on to produce her second stage play “Games” in 2012. Between writing and putting on stage plays Sharea has also produced poetry contests, MC Battles and her live sketch comedy series entitled “Skitz,” at venues in Charlotte and Monroe, NC including but not limited to “The Neighborhood Theater”, The CAST Theater; The Rendezvous Lounge, Upscale Lounge, and The Venue.

Sharea continues to write research and explore new ideas to further her writing career. She has completed her first screenplay entitled “What You Don’t Know,” and plans to shoot it in the near future adding another notch to her belt.

Here is a synopsis of her upcoming book, Identity Theft

She lurks behind smiles and friendly gestures, seeking angles and loopholes. She's clothed in insecurities and misery; but you'd never suspect a thing. She's intentionally watching your every move. She knows you better than you think. While she laughs with you she jots down everything; with her photographic memory. She slides right between conversations baiting, faking and gaining access to all aspects of your life. She is plotting, watching, learning and becoming. Soon you'll see when someone steals your IDENTITY.

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Congratulations, You Have Just Won a Foreign Lottery

“You just won the two million dollar lottery, and to claim your prize, please mail or wire $350.00 to cover processing fee, taxes, and so on.”  Ha! Ha! Ha! The joke is on you. Of course, this is no laughing matter. Most of us have received this type of communication through the postal service, email, or telephone.

If you have to send money to claim your prize, most likely, it is a hoax, and you can end up losing all of your savings. Unfortunately, these tricksters often target senior citizens.

Think about it. If you really win money, why must you send a fee to claim your prize? Let the sponsor deduct the fee from your winnings. Of course, this will never happen. The only people who benefit from this are the people committing the fraudulent act.

If you are a caregiver for a family, relative or friend, please warn them about foreign lotteries. Many are shams, and playing them may be illegal.

To learn more about protecting yourself and others, visit Protect Your Finances and Delivering Trust

Women, Are You a Mystery to Your Man? By Cherokee Billie

In my many years as a spiritual advisor I have noticed a reoccurring theme with women. They want to love and give all of themselves to the man that they love; the problem is giving all of you leaves no mystery for the man. Men are attracted to mysterious women. Perhaps you have observed a woman that is not particularly beautiful, but she always has men attracted to her and wanting to be with her. Why? She has learned the art of being a mystery. She does not give every detail of her life to the man that she meets. She does not drop everything the moment he calls just for him. If he does not show up for a date, she does not give him a second chance. When they ask her questions, she is able to turn that question back to the man. Therefore she never clearly answers. This drives men crazy. Men always want what they cannot have and that is the lesson you need to learn here and now – if you want to change your dating life around. It is just natural for men to want to know everything about a woman, that is just their curiosity, and they will quiz a woman over and over wanting details of her life. Learn a different way to answer. Here are some examples of how to do it A good example of a woman who remained mysterious always was Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. No one ever truly understood her. In an interview they asked her what she had to say about her life and her reply was, “Interesting.” She always had a smile when being photographed even if she was telling off the photographer who was taking the picture. She said, “They will never capture me completely no matter how they try.” All of her life Jacqueline attracted men from her early teenage years up to the time of her death. One look at her face and you knew that you could not penetrate to the inner core of this woman. She understood the art of attracting man. There was an actress named Mae West who understood men better than most women ever will and she was not the most gorgeous woman on earth and was slightly overweight, yet, she had men coming and going constantly in her life. The reason was she always had an air of mystery about her and never fully answered a question. If she did answer a question it was usually with a sarcastic joke. Such as the following, “I like two kinds of men: domestic and imported.” She always had a smile as she answered these witty retorts. She drove men crazy. In fact in her movies, which she personally wrote in the early 1930’s, the censorship was so enormous that they created a new code of censorship for movies. (This censorship does not exist today.) Now that is the type of woman you have got to admire! The women that I have counseled and have taken this advice to heart have had a significant change in their relationships with men. Many women I give this advice to just cannot find a way to do this and like a hamster on a wheel they keep going around and around with the same problems in relationships. Become a mystery and see your relationships with men improve dramatically! If you would like personal instructions on how to change your relationships Contact Me, Cherokee Billie, and let us work together to make you a mystery! For more information read the following: See Your Value Rise in the Dating Game! ™®©2008-2013 Cherokee Billie

Cherokee Billie is a spiritual advisor and the author of “Heavenly Seduction,” which takes you through her journey to find God and spirituality.  For more information, visit her site at http://www.cherokeebillie.com

Tips for a Rewarding Internet Dating Experience By Cherokee Billie

In today’s busy world it seems to be more difficult to find people that you would like to date. Internet dating has become one of the most convenient ways to meet someone and find a lifelong partner. More and more people are finding life partners through the internet. People are looking for that someone special whether it be by using an online internet dating service, looking in chat rooms, surveying the possibilities on Facebook, or testing their luck in online gaming and other virtual worlds

There is nothing wrong with internet dating. You just need to use caution and think before you start sharing personal or intimate details about your life. It is important to remember that you really do not know the people you meet on the internet and that you have to remember that they are a stranger.

As a psychic I receive frequent calls from people who have met someone on the internet and feel they have met the person of their dreams. The person calling me wants to know if the internet person is being honest and sincere with them. Using clairvoyant methods I am able to quickly tell someone if the person is being honest or if there is a hidden agenda. 

Often the person on the other end of the internet lives far from the other person and sometimes even in other countries. Right here is a mistake. There can be a great mystique to meeting someone from a different country, but is it going to be practical? How feasible is it for you or the other person to be able to afford to travel long distances on a frequent basis? These may be fun fantasies, but rarely do they work out as long lasting relationships. 

It is best to try to meet someone on the internet who is in your area code or at least in the same state that you are in. It is best to date within a 25 mile radius of where you are. The reason is simple, you want to meet this person face to face as soon as possible because that is going to tell you a lot more about whom this person is. Sometimes people do not even use their own picture on their profile. Many people exaggerate certain facts such as their age, weight, marital status, and sexual history. A face to face meeting will answer most of your questions pretty quickly.

Make sure your profile reflects who you really are. Keep your age within a few years and if you are slightly overweight state that you are. Ask if a person can deal with it? Be upfront with any positives about yourself and any flaws. This will help sort out people that would be a waste of time and energy. Someone has to love you for who you are-warts and all. Do not tell all about your past relationships. That should be reserved for when you meet in person and know this person better.

If you choose to talk by telephone it is best to use a cellular number. Remember this is a stranger you are connecting to. Do not give out your home address. More people are being stalked than ever before in history. Again use caution.

You should arrange to meet within two weeks of constant communication. Do not let a long space of time go before the two of you come face to face. Communicating on the internet can give you a false sense of intimacy. If the other person delays meeting you there may be a reason and the red flag should go up if they constantly have excuses for not meeting.

Meet in a public place and make sure that someone you know and trust is aware of your meeting and that they have all information about the person you are meeting, such as e-mail address, cellular telephone number, and any other pertinent information. This is advisable for men and women. Use common sense in meeting a stranger. Always practice safety first.

Many people that I have counseled as a psychic have sent money to the person they have met on the internet without ever meeting in person. They are always guaranteed that the person will send the money back and that their needs are urgent. People have told them every story from someones mother needing surgery to helping them pay rent. Unfortunately these people have been scammed and never get the money back and never meet the person. I have heard this story over and over. Remember you do not know this person and you have no obligations to help them out financially.

Dating should be fun and internet dating can be fun and rewarding if you use common sense and caution. You are looking to find someone who shares your beliefs, goals, values, and interests.

It does not matter how you meet Mr. or Mrs. Right all that matters is that you do meet and find love.

If you feel you have met that special person through the internet contact me, Cherokee Billie, and I will be able to provide you with information that you may not know, and verify if they are a good match for you.

Also Read: Love Karma

™®©2008-2013 Cherokee Billie

Cherokee Billie is a spiritual advisor and the author of “Heavenly Seduction,” which takes you through her journey to find God and spirituality. For more information, visit her site at http://www.cherokeebillie.com

Wrapped Up - A Corseted Event with Bridget Midway and Yvette Hines

Fellow authors Bridget Midway and Yvette Hines are putting on an event called "Wrapped Up: A Corseted Event with Bridget Midway and Yvette Hines." The event will take place on Saturday, November 9, 2013 from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Why "Wrapped Up"? Their upcoming novels, Licorice Whips by Bridget Midway and Red Hots by Yvette Hines, are set in a candy store. Therefore, when you register for the event, you will get both of their contemporary interracial BDSM erotic romance novels when you arrive! They will do book readings, have games, give away prizes, and have a corset contest. However, the big topper will be the Domme who taught Bridget everything she knows about BDSM. Author Dama de Noche will be there to teach attendees about BDSM as well as do demonstrations on a male and female submissive. Sound interesting? Then, you should hurry on over, register, and join them here.

The event will be at the Hampton Inn and Suites, 4449 Peek Trail, Chesapeake, VA  23321. To reserve a room, click here or call the hotel directly at 757-465-7000, and use Group Code: 600.

For more information on Bridget Midway who does not do things midway, please visit her site. 

An Interview with Stacy-Deanne (Dee-Anne)

We are pleased to re-introduce you to Ms. Stacy-Deanne (Dee-Anne), an award-winning crime/mystery and interracial romance novelist. She was gracious enough to take time out of her busy schedule to allow One World Singles Magazine Blog to talk about her writings, accolades and plans for the future. Ms. Stacy-Deanne first appeared on our Blog in September 13, 2010. Since then, she was recently featured in USA Today and countless other mediums.

Please tell our readers something about yourself. Well I’m 35 years old and I’ve been writing professionally since I was 19. I got my first publishing contract in 2005 for Divas in the New Millennium, a compilation biography book focusing on popular female singers. My favorite genres to write are mystery and crime fiction (of course), anything with an interracial romance, and women’s fiction. My favorite genres to read are mysteries and historical romance. I am single, have no kids and I live in Houston where I was born and raised.

Who or what inspired you to become an author. I never planned to become an author. It’s not like I dreamed of it when I was a kid. The lightning bolt just hit me when I was 19 and that’s when I decided to pursue a career in writing. I always loved to read and I always had good writing skills.

What lessons have you learned as an author? I learned that being true to yourself is more important than anything. You won’t be satisfied unless you follow your heart. I learned that just because you get a publishing contract it doesn’t mean everything is peaches and cream from that point on. I also learned that there is just as much hard work and rejection after publication as before publication. The difference is that once you’re published you sometimes experience rejection from an entirely different group of people. The most important thing I’ve picked up in the business is that it’s a good thing to help others and support others. You need as many people supporting you in this business as you can get.

You are a crime/mystery and cross cultural/interracial romance novelist. Were you raised in a multicultural/multi-ethnic community? If so, is this the inspiration for your books? I grew up in a middle-class black neighborhood and it wasn’t until I was a teenager that I was personally exposed to different races. Of course I saw them on television but it wasn’t until I went to high school that I was around them. I was mostly around blacks all my childhood except for the people in my family. We have all kinds of ethnicities in my family. What inspires me to write interracials is that I’ve always loved white guys. LOL! I grew up having crushes on them and I always found them very attractive so writing black women and white men romances come natural.

Which came first: writing articles or penning your first book? My first book definitely. I didn’t start writing articles until I’d had three books published. That’s when I felt I had enough knowledge under my belt to advise others.

How does it feel to have been nominated for an NAACP award and profiled in Heather Covington’s Literary Divas: The Top 100+ African-American Women in Writing? LOL! Well Heather’s book was nominated for the award, not me. LOL! I was flattered that she wanted to feature me of course. She featured many successful and popular female authors in that book. I was in great company. That was also very early in my career so I was grateful to get that support.

As a writer, what has been your biggest challenge, trials or tribulations that you have overcome? I’d say self-doubt. Honestly I don’t think I’ll ever get over that. I’ve always struggled with that since I was a kid, but I have confidence in my writing. I think writers self-sabotage themselves mentally. I feel it’s important to be positive so I always try to be.

You have written, Giving Up the Ghost, The Season of Sin and The Wild Life, which will be released soon? Could you please give us a blur about The Wild Life? Giving up the Ghost and The Season of Sin are currently available. The Wild Life will be available this July 2013. I also have a short that should be coming out soon called When the Mouse Chases the Cat. All these books feature Detectives Brianna “Bree” Morris and her partner Steven Kemp.

The Wild Life:

When Albany Detective Brianna “Bree” Morris learns that Cuban crime lord Milan Varela wants her estranged father dead, she heads off to Miami to find out why. With Homicide Detective Jayce Matthews and her ex-lover Detective Steven Kemp she devises a plot to get close to the Varela organization.

Brianna finds herself attracted to the older Milan and falls deep into his web of seduction while fighting to keep her mind on her mission. Milan is equally drawn to Brianna and vows to win her trust and her heart.

Is Milan really the villain when it comes to Brianna’s father? Or is he the victim?

Is Brianna’s father really in danger or is there more to the story than anyone could ever imagine?

Brianna risks her life to save her father’s but will she end up losing her own? (From Peace in the Storm Publishing)

Are you planning to write any more books in the near future? I’m always writing something. It might take my work a little while to come out but I always have something ready to go. I have two releases coming out in 2014. One is called The Ultimate Rush, which is a standalone novel, and Harm a Fly is the fourth installment in the Bree and Steven series. I have other work I am finishing up as well.

What advice would you give someone who is thinking about writing a book? Do not rush into any decision and research. You should take your time and learn about the business before jumping into it.

How can our readers get in touch with you? Readers can contact me through my Website. They can also reach me through Facebook and Twitter

Thank you for allowing us to dialogue with you. Do you have any words of wisdom for upcoming writers and/or authors? Believe in yourself and never be afraid to follow your dreams. If you want to be a published author you must believe you can make it happen. If you don’t believe in yourself, who will?

Thanks for having me!

Sustaining a Healthy Marriage - It Is Not As Hard As One May Think - Part 2

Love at first sight and thinking it is the right reason to get married so quickly may be a short-term sensation. Getting to know someone is imperative and should be a long-term endeavor. Be observant. How does the person treat his or her parents, other family members, friends, and strangers?  Does the individual, you are attracted to, treat others fairly? Is he or she courteous, respectful, caring, and compassionate? How does the person behave in private and in public? Is the person appalling behind locked doors and a so sweet thing in public? The way a person behaves towards others is the same way he or she will deal with you.

As the saying goes, show me your friends, and I will tell you what type of person you are. If your future spouse loves to party all night and stay up all day with his or her friends, then this may be a sign that you will be spending many nights alone.

Never assume you have the power to transform someone’s negative mannerisms. If a person is an obnoxious jerk when you meet him or her, then he or she will continue to be an unbearable jerk during the marriage, unless there is some divine intervention.

Looks, money, and status alone will not tell you who a person really is, but how one handles unforeseen challenges in his or her life will. Beauty wilts, money can disappear, and a person’s position can change, for better or for worst during the marriage.

The questions you should ask yourself are what is important to me, and what do I expect to get out of a marriage. Are you looking for love, money, or security? If these are the only components that you are seeking in a marriage, then you should already possess these elements before committing yourself. If having children is important to you, it should also be important to your future spouse. If you are knee high in debt and you’re living from paycheck to paycheck, then perhaps you need to evaluate your financial situation before taking that big step.

What ever the reasons you have for getting married, take a long look at yourself and your future spouse. Examine the qualities you both take pleasure in, and see if those characteristics make for a good sense of balance in both of your lives. Discuss your likes and dislikes. Marriage is not an institution to be taken frivolously. If there are existing problems, unnecessary drama, or turmoil during the courtship and engagement phase, then the both of you should take time out, evaluate your state of affairs, or go your separate ways. You can always do well or bad by yourself.

Sustaining a Healthy Marriage - It Is Not As Hard As One May Think - Part 1

Marriage is the union between people who vow to protect and honor each other and sustain a loving and healthy relationship.  Most individuals dream of meeting that breathtaking soul mate, going through the getting to know you and the dating and romantic stage, and then finally popping that question, “Will you marry me?

Having an unforgettable wedding is usually the couple’s vision. When planning a wedding, so much emphasis is place on preparation, time, and effort to put together a memorable ceremony. However, sometimes less importance is placed on the type of marriage one is seeking, not realizing there is a difference between a wedding ceremony, a short-term affair, and an everlasting union.

Sadly, the declarations couples make to each other are sometimes short-lived. With over fifty percent of marriages ending in divorce, a person should ponder the following before taking that big step: How does a couple maintain a long and healthy marriage.

Based on my observations of couples who have been married for over twenty-five years, they share many unique personas:

1. They usually have the same moral codes and aspirations, share a mutual respect for each other and enjoy each other’s company.

2. Power play rarely exists in their relationship. There is usually a give and take on both sides.

3. They definitely have a good sense of humor.

4. Communication is central, which means they talk as well as listen to each other.

5. They do not necessarily agree on every issue, but they respect each other’s views.

6. They work as a team to make the relationship work, seek fairness, sensitivity, sincerity, intimacy, romance, and commitment from each other.

7. Finally, they live life to the fullest.

There may be many more characteristics. I am just listing the uniqueness of these couples.  This is not to say their marriage was flawless or without challenges. It means they went into marriage with the promise of dealing with any obstacle as a twosome. When a setback comes their way, throwing in the towel was not an option.

Marriage is not for everyone. Many couples do not realize this until it is too late. It is a good idea to search into your heart and soul and really think about how you see yourself as an individual, and whether you are ready to share and commit yourself to another human being.