Monday, June 03, 2013

Sustaining a Healthy Marriage - It Is Not As Hard As One May Think - Part 1

Marriage is the union between people who vow to protect and honor each other and sustain a loving and healthy relationship.  Most individuals dream of meeting that breathtaking soul mate, going through the getting to know you and the dating and romantic stage, and then finally popping that question, “Will you marry me?

Having an unforgettable wedding is usually the couple’s vision. When planning a wedding, so much emphasis is place on preparation, time, and effort to put together a memorable ceremony. However, sometimes less importance is placed on the type of marriage one is seeking, not realizing there is a difference between a wedding ceremony, a short-term affair, and an everlasting union.

Sadly, the declarations couples make to each other are sometimes short-lived. With over fifty percent of marriages ending in divorce, a person should ponder the following before taking that big step: How does a couple maintain a long and healthy marriage.

Based on my observations of couples who have been married for over twenty-five years, they share many unique personas:

1. They usually have the same moral codes and aspirations, share a mutual respect for each other and enjoy each other’s company.
2. Power play rarely exists in their relationship. There is usually a give and take on both sides.
3. They definitely have a good sense of humor.
4. Communication is central, which means they talk as well as listen to each other.
5. They do not necessarily agree on every issue, but they respect each other’s views.
6. They work as a team to make the relationship work, seek fairness, sensitivity, sincerity, intimacy, romance, and commitment from each other.
7. Finally, they live life to the fullest.
There may be many more characteristics. I am just listing the uniqueness of these couples.  This is not to say their marriage was flawless or without challenges. It means they went into marriage with the promise of dealing with any obstacle as a twosome. When a setback comes their way, throwing in the towel was not an option.

Marriage is not for everyone. Many couples do not realize this until it is too late. It is a good idea to search into your heart and soul and really think about how you see yourself as an individual, and whether you are ready to share and commit yourself to another human being.

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