Love at first sight and thinking it
is the right reason to get married so quickly may be a short-term sensation.
Getting to know someone is imperative and should be a long-term endeavor. Be
observant. How does the person treat his or her parents, other family members, friends,
and strangers? Does the individual, you
are attracted to, treat others fairly? Is he or she courteous, respectful, caring,
and compassionate? How does the person behave in private and in public? Is the
person appalling behind locked doors and a so sweet thing in public? The way a person behaves towards others
is the same way he or she will deal with you.
As the saying goes, show me
your friends, and I will tell you what type of person you are. If your
future spouse loves to party all night and stay up all day with his or her
friends, then this may be a sign that you will be spending many nights alone.
Never assume you have the power
to transform someone’s negative mannerisms. If a person is an obnoxious jerk
when you meet him or her, then he or she will continue to be an unbearable jerk
during the marriage, unless there is some divine intervention.
Looks, money, and status alone
will not tell you who a person really is, but how one handles unforeseen challenges
in his or her life will. Beauty wilts, money can disappear, and a person’s
position can change, for better or for worst during the marriage.
The questions you should ask
yourself are what is important to me, and what do I expect to get out of a
marriage. Are you looking for love, money, or security? If these are the
only components that you are seeking in a marriage, then you should already possess
these elements before committing yourself. If having children is important to
you, it should also be important to your future spouse. If you are knee high in
debt and you’re living from paycheck to paycheck, then perhaps you need to
evaluate your financial situation before taking that big step.
What ever the reasons you have
for getting married, take a long look at yourself and your future spouse. Examine
the qualities you both take pleasure in, and see if those characteristics make
for a good sense of balance in both of your lives. Discuss your likes and
dislikes. Marriage is not an institution to be taken frivolously. If there are
existing problems, unnecessary drama, or turmoil during the courtship and engagement
phase, then the both of you should take time out, evaluate your state of
affairs, or go your separate ways. You can always do well or bad by yourself.
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