Monday, December 28, 2015

You Can Never Buy a Man’s Love by Vivienne Diane Neal

Women who have invested so much money into a relationship sometimes turn a blind eye when a man is no longer interested in pursuing that bond. This is not to say that women are the only ones who suffer from this syndrome. Men also have a tendency to want to continue a relationship that has seen its days. But we are talking mainly about some women since they seem to want to hold on to a relationship that is no longer working.

A woman should never support a man financially who refuses to bring something to the table or add something of value to her life, just for the sake of saying, “I have a man in my life.”  If you choose to buy a man’s affection when there is no reciprocation on his end, then the union is doom to fail.

Take the following scenario: A woman has just met a man at a social event. To her it is love at first sight, and she wants this man, no matter the cost. After knowing him for only two weeks, she buys him a cell phone.  One month later, she co-signs for him to buy a car. Two months later, he leaves her, but she doesn’t realize that he never really wanted her as much as she wanted him. He read her like an ATM. The operative word is wanted. She wanted him to the point where she was willing to buy his love, thinking the relationship would last indefinitely but that was never his intentions. Now he has disappeared, and she is left paying off that loan and decides to take him to small claims court, but the blow is that she still wants to pursue the relationship even though he insists the cell phone and the car were gifts. “I didn’t ask for those items; she gave them to me. We were never lovers, we were just friends.” Of course it never occurred to him to just say “No.” A real man would have said, “When I save enough money, I will buy my cell phone and car.” What makes this even more heartbreaking is that he has moved on to the next desperate female who will fall right into his trap.

There are many, many stories like this one and lessons to be learned: When you meet someone, take your time before jumping into a relationship; study that individual’s deeds and true intentions. Does he share the same values and aspirations as you do. Is he financially secured, has good credit and has worked longer than just two months. You will never really get to know someone at the drop of hatpin. Think before giving yourself or your money away. Desperation not only leads to a bankrupt relationship but can also leave you financially in the hole for years to come.

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