Monday, October 27, 2014

That Person You are Dating is Probably Married - How to Recognize the Seven Warning Signs

Often we read or hear about men and women, who have met someone, fell madly in love, and became physically and emotionally involved with that person, only to discover that the individual they trusted the most was married. There are always warning signs when relationships are built on dishonesty. Do people consciously or unconsciously ignore these signs?

Whether they realize it or not, people who cheat on their spouses always give themselves away, and cheaters will avoid telling the person about their marital status because they want to maintain a back street liaison or have their cake and eat it too. In other words, everything is hidden and kept in the dark. Whether you are a man or a woman, you can protect yourself by recognizing these seven warning signs, what they may imply and facing them head on:

Warning Sign Number One - The person who never invites you to their home will probably have the following excuses:  She or he is sharing a room with several roommates who keep a clutter and dirty home. The roommates are loud and obnoxious, and you would be uncomfortable around them. The individual would be too embarrassed to invite you to their pad. That person is probably married with children.

Warning Sign Number Two - The person can only see you during the week, usually one day a week, because he or she works long hours on the weekends. When the person gets home, he or she is just too tired to see you or go out with you on a date. The individual is spending the weekends with the spouse and children.

Warning Sign Number Three - He or she will never take you out to a restaurant or accompany you to special events or family gatherings. The excuse will be, the person does not enjoy eating out and would rather have a home cooked meal. He or she will even go so far as to bring the food and cook it in your home. The individual is shy around too many people or does not enjoy being around crowds. The person is afraid someone will recognize him or her and expose their dirty little secret.

Warning Sign Number Four - During the holidays, he or she will suddenly have to leave town on business or will disappear for a while. While you are sitting home alone sipping wine and crying your eyes out, your “lover” is vacationing with the spouse and children and is having a fantastic time.

Warning Sign Number Five - The person will give you a cell phone, mobile or beeper number but will never give you their home phone number.

Warning Sign Number Six - You never meet the person’s parents, relatives or friends. The reason given: He or she is a loner and on bad terms with the kinfolks, or they live in a foreign country or were raised in an orphanage.

Warning Sign Number Seven - The person does not have a home address but a post office box. The reason given: He or she travels maybe ten months out of the year and constantly lives out of their suitcases and spend their time in hotel rooms, so a permanent residence would not make much sense. It would be too costly.

When it comes to the warning signs, I am generalizing here. These signs do not necessarily mean the person you are involved with is being deceitful or dishonest. The focus here is on men and women who have been in long-term relationships and may have had these sentiments. As the saying goes “If it acts or looks too good to be true, the individual is probably living a lie.”

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