Monday, March 04, 2013
Letting Go of Expectations
“Expectation is the root of all heartache” – William Shakespeare
When it comes to relationships, expectations can ruin everything. You see, what happens is that we all have different expectations. I expect roses for my birthday, you expect a cake. I want a kiss when you get home, you want to relax. Our expectations make us resentful when they are not met and unsatisfied even when they are. The thing that works is to have no expectations.
Now, that does not mean you ‘lower your standards’. What it means is that you learn to communicate your wants and desires with another person and listen to theirs. When you share what you are expecting it is no longer an expectation it is now a request. Communication is the only way we can know what another person is thinking or needing. We are not mind readers, after all. By communicating your needs you can learn more about your partner and what they can and cannot do. Maybe he or she can’t be affectionate every morning, but they can kiss you before they leave for work. Through communicating they understand that affection is important for you and you understand that it is hard for them. You are both making an effort to be what the other one needs, and through that you are both satisfied.
When you let go of the idea of having expectations it opens you up to really communicating and being cognizant of your needs and desires. Once you know what you need and want and can put it into words it no longer becomes something that can run your life; rather you have control over it. It is freeing to let go of expectations and work with reality and ultimately much more satisfying.