Monday, July 27, 2015
When Your Clean-Cut Image Becomes Tarnished by Vivienne Diane Neal
Human beings are not perfect. Everyone has flaws and makes mistakes. Some oversights are minor, while others can be devastating. Depending on the seriousness of the blunder, a simple apology may suffice. But, when infidelity occurs in a marriage, the damage done can be more demoralizing because the trust is now broken. Only the person hurt or affected by the indiscretion and the unfaithful spouse will have to work out the difficulties on their own terms and in private.
But what happens when the person committing the indiscretion is well-known and is constantly in the public’s eye? Society has a tendency to put some of these people on a pedestal or assign them the title: “role model,” which can be a heavy burden to carry because high expectations are always placed on these people. At the same time, society is just as quick to knock these people off that foundation when cheating on one’s spouse is involved, and the transgression becomes public knowledge. Suddenly, the floodgates of salacious details slowly come to the surface. Before you know it, the person’s lack of judgment becomes front-page news and a lead-in for the news. Now everyone becomes the judge, jury and castigator, because the public feels betrayed. Yet, the person who committed the wrongdoing becomes irate because he or his family’s life is no longer a private matter.
Awhile back, many women came forward accusing a famous and well-admired celebrity of sexual misconduct. He denied the improprieties, and many of the accusers were vilified by the public. But recently, sealed court documents revealed that the person confessed to giving Quaaludes to a woman, without her knowledge or consent, so he could have sex with her. How he could have thought this and other misdeeds would stay hush-hush for so long is far-fetched. Like an ostrich, he must have buried his head in the sand. It is also alleged that some of the women were paid-off to keep quiet, and two of his accusers did receive a settlement. Since the statute of limitations for sexual assault has expired, we don’t know if this person will ever face any criminal charges.
Many prominent people will knowingly put themselves in compromising positions, thinking their money, power and status will protect them, but this is not always the case.
If you want to preserve your somewhat clean-cut image and protect yourself from serious accusations, the first rule of thumb is to honor your vows. Surround yourself with people who will always watch your back and steer you on the right path. Not everyone who chuckles and smiles in your face, pats you on the back or shakes your hand is a friend or means you well. A true friend will never urge you to take part in any precarious acts that would put you, your spouse, and others in an embarrassing situation. If you have to meet a woman for a business meeting, meet in a public place and not in a hotel room where there is just the two of you. Take a confidant with you.
Do not share any intimate information with anyone other than your spouse; if you do, it is no longer confidential. All it takes is for an argument, a misunderstanding, envy or jealousy to rear its ugly head, and everything you have said or done in concealment might eventually become tomorrow’s headlines. If you feel the urge to have an affair, nip it in the bud, be upfront and talk it over with your spouse. If a partner conducts a clandestine affair using text messaging, email or a cell phone, he is definitely begging to get caught in the act.
Finally, if fidelity is not your cup of tea and having a harem or women, who are consenting adults and willing participants, in every port is your thing, do yourself a big favor: Don’t Get Married! When you play outside of your marriage, you may end up paying dearly.