Why Being Financially Coordinated is Crucial for Couples by Vivienne Diane Neal

Photo by RDNE Stock project

We hear all the time; money is one of the reasons for breakups. Couples often face financial stressors that can strain their relationship. Here are eight reasons why money can lead to breakups:

1. Couples may have different attitudes toward money, spending, and saving. If these values clash, it can create tension and disagreements.
2. When partners have vastly different income levels or spending habits, it can cause resentment. For instance, one partner may feel burdened by the other’s financial choices.
3. Elevated levels of debt, unemployment, or financial instability can lead to stress and arguments. Couples may blame each other for their financial difficulties.
4. Not discussing financial matters openly can lead to misunderstandings. Hidden debts, overspending, or financial secrets can erode trust.
5. If one partner controls the finances or makes unilateral decisions, it can create feelings of powerlessness and resentment.
6. Like emotional or physical infidelity, financial infidelity occurs when one partner hides money-related actions (e.g., secret accounts, overspending).
7. Major life events (e.g., buying a house, having children, retirement) require financial adjustments. If couples are not aligned, it can strain the relationship.
8. Open communication about money helps prevent misunderstandings and ensures that both partners are aware of each other’s financial situation.

Photo by Ron Lach 

Remember that open communication, compromise, and shared financial goals are essential for keeping a healthy relationship. If you are experiencing financial challenges, consider seeking professional advice or counseling together. Remember, financial harmony can lead to greater marital satisfaction and overall happiness. 😊💙

 

Why You Should Never Lend Money to Friends or Relatives by Miss Know It All

Miss Know It All

I am a big fan of TV court cases and see my share of civil suits regarding people coming up with outlandish reasons for not paying back their loans.

Photo by RODNAE Productions

You may think helping your financially strapped friend or relative is the correct thing to do, but doing so could totally ruin your relationship. If you need some convincing, here are some reasons lending money to friends, family or anyone is a bad idea.

 

You Are a Last Resort. An individual comes to you because he or she cannot get a loan from a bank. This means traditional lenders, who add on high interest rates, consider the person to be a high risk to lending money. Most loans to friends and family have a very low or nonexistent interest rate. By loaning someone money, you are taking on a ton of risk for a fraction of the payout a bank would normally get. You can usually add anywhere from five to fifteen percent interest annually. Any amount higher is usury or illegal.

 

Most likely, you will never see your money. Most times, people who borrow money from friends or family never pay the loan back in full. If you have the money, just give them the funds, understanding that you will never see that money. You can also give the money as a gift.

 

Most loans involve parents lending money to their adult children. Sometimes the reason for the loan was a good one, like a one-time emergency that was completely unexpected. Often the reason is not to sound and parents are simply rewarding bad financial habits. If your adult children think you will bail them out of any bad financial situation they get themselves into, then there will never be reasons for them to develop good financial practices.

 

You might actually need the money. Unexpected emergencies and job losses happen. When they do, you will need extra money to pay your bills and stay afloat. If you have an extremely well-stocked emergency fund, then maybe you will not miss the money that you lent to someone. Only a quarter of Americans have more than $10,000 in their savings account. Therefore, if you are like most people, you will want your money back as soon as possible. Draining your savings to help a friend could leave you in the same predicament as the borrower.

 

Having to ask for overdue payments will eventually get uncomfortable. Since some do not repay most loans, there is probably going to be a point where your friend or a family member falls behind on payments. When that happens, it is up to you to follow up with them about their late payments. That conversation is going to be incredibly awkward. However, it gets worse. They are likely going to keep falling behind on payments. You are going to have to keep following up with them each time to let them know they are late.

 

It could ruin your relationship forever. After a few late payments, you have essentially become a debt collector for your loved one, and this will affect your relationship. You will be upset that they did not pay you back, which shows that keeping promises to you is not a priority for them. They will feel uncomfortable every time they see you because they know they owe you money. Holiday dinners and going out with your friends will now come with a ton of baggage.

 

If you are going to advance money to a friend or family member, draw up a promissory note showing when the loan is to be paid. You and the borrower sign the note. Keep a copy for yourself and give a copy to the borrower. If it is not in writing, you can say “farewell” to your loan.

 

Better yet, adhered to this motto, “Neither a borrower nor a lender be.”

Breadwinner Woman: How to Avoid Hurting Your Relationship

Best-selling romance author Stella Eromonsere-Ajanaku provides advice on how women who are the breadwinners can avoid hurting the relationship.

 

How to Recognize When You’re Being Deceived on Your First Date by Vivienne Diane Neal

Image by 1820796 from Pixabay

When a person shows you who he is, believe him the first time; don’t be fooled by his drop-dead gorgeous features, his way with words, and his dress to kill apparel, and the first topic of discussion is money. However, you ignore this sign because it’s love at first sight, and you want to see him again.

On the second date, you are slowly being played by a master manipulator. He invites you to his place for dinner and will make you a memorable meal. The food is most likely frozen dinners, and all he has to do is heat it and serve it. And this where you should you recognize that this relationship is doomed right from the start when he gives you a sob story that he lost his job and will ask if you could lend him money to help pay his rent until he finds another job.

Yet, the biggest shocker is when he asks you to co-sign for a car after knowing him for only one month. You give him the money because you feel sorry for him, have fallen hard for the man and see the two of you living happily ever after. But when you ask for the money back several weeks later, he tells you the monies were gifts. This means you will never see your money unless you take him to court; if you didn’t have him sign a promissory note, most likely you can say goodbye to your money unless you receive a text message saying he borrowed or owes you the money. He will never admit he owes you any money.

Now, this is where the con artist can trip himself up when he refuses to reply to your text messages, demanding he pays you back. Most judges will ask, “If this was a gift, why didn’t you reply to the woman’s message and say, “I don’t know what you’re talking about; the monies were gifts.” This doesn’t mean the borrower is completely off the hook. So make certain you save all messages sent to the borrower as evidence if you decide to take him to civil court. Or better yet, have him sign a promissory note before the cash leaves your hand; it doesn’t have to be formal. You can write it on a piece of toilet paper and make certain you both sign the note. If he refuses to sign the IOUs, you will never see him again.

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Happy Birthday, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay

How to Know You Will Never Get That Loan Back by Miss Know It All

There is a saying, “Neither a borrower nor a lender be.” Most of us have lent money to our lovers, friends, acquaintances and family members. If we got that money back, we were fortunate. However, in most cases, this is not the norm but the exception, and many lenders will never see their money.

Even if you have the borrower sign a promissory note, chances are you will have to fight tooth and nail or take that person to small claims court to receive your hard-earned dollars.

To avoid drama and anguish, look for the following clues that will articulate, “You can kiss your money goodbye.”

-I will pay you back when I get my tax refund.

-I will pay you back when my school loan comes through.

-You will get your money when I receive my workmen’s compensation.

-I was laid-off, so I will not be able to pay you right now.

-Here is a post-dated check; do not cash it until next week. Most likely, the check will bounce.

You get the picture. So, the next time someone ask you for a loan, either give them money and write it off as a gift or just say,” No!”

Watching Your Finances While Dating By Miss Know It All

Miss Know It All

A woman meets a man on an online dating site, and it is love at first sight. Before you know it, he is asking to borrow money. How many women lend or give money to men who are forever broke, unemployed, or behind in their child support payments.

This is not to say that men do not suffer from throwing your money after bad syndrome. However, this scenario seems to be more common among women who are willing to take over a grown man’s financial obligations. Suddenly, the man is gone with the cash; the woman is in a financial bind and has to chase him down like a bounty hunter or end up in small claims court to try to recoup her money.

Why so many women put themselves in this type of predicament is unknown. Maybe it is the need to be a nurturer or the fear of being alone. When you lend or give money to anyone, you are doing a disservice to yourself, by putting that individual first and you last.  

A man of integrity and good character will never ask you for money to help pay his debts or to buy him a big-ticket item. If he is financially sound and responsible, he will not need your money to make ends meet. On the other hand, if he is looking for a cash withdrawal machine, or is out to be a moocher, he will let you know right from the start. There will be no beating around the bush on his end.

When you meet a man and decide to date him, and within seconds, he is asking you for a loan to help purchase a car, because he has bad credit, it means, he does not pay his bills. In all likelihood, you will never see your money.

No one is saying you should never help the love of your life. If he were going through a financial crisis, you would be there for him, but only if he has given as much as you have.