Monday, May 16, 2022

When A Bride and Groom Make an Unusual Request by Miss Know It All

Miss Know It All 

I came across an article and thought I had heard everything. I have attended many weddings in my heyday and I must say, not one couple solicited the type of gift they wanted. In fact, most of the couples did not have a gift registry. You just purchased a practical gift that the couple would need when setting up the house, namely bathroom, kitchen, and bedroom add-ons. Moreover, if you were clueless as to what the couple really needed, you would give cash or a gift certificate. I know I am dating myself. Today it is a gift card. Nevertheless, that was then, and this is now where wedding traditions have become informal and will vary according to the couple’s culture, ethnicity or religion.


A bride and groom sparked a heated debate on social media after asking wedding guests to pay for their honeymoon instead of buying them a gift. I started to wonder if this was a trend among couples.  Many, many years ago, it would have been unthinkable or tacky for a bride and groom to ask prospective wedding guests to pay for their honeymoon. On the other hand, maybe I have been living under a rock too long.



One guest shared her dilemma in an Australian Facebook group, after receiving an invitation to both the bridal shower and wedding. However, she was left confused after the couple asked guests to contribute to their honeymoon fund by transferring the money through an app after they opted out of having a gift registry.



I must admit that I would never contribute to the bride and groom’s honeymoon. If a couple cannot afford to pay for their own honeymoon, then they should not go or plan it for another time. In addition, if the couple was living together, there is nothing new under the sun for them to discover about each other. I realize planning a wedding can be expensive, but you have to know what you can afford and not put that burden on your guests, especially if you are having several events that require gift-giving, namely an engagement party, a bridal shower, wedding rehearsal, and wedding reception. I have even read where couples are asking guests to pay for their own meals at the reception.



I decided to ask some of my associates on social media what they thought. Some of the answers were edited for clarity:


Whatever money I would have put towards the gift, I would give to them.

I am happy to contribute cash.

The bride and Groom should pay for their own wedding. They pay for their own divorces.

I would be happy to contribute cash instead of a present. It is less work for me.

Only if I can afford it. If not, I would contribute the money I can afford towards their honeymoon.

I would give what I can.

Depending on whom it is.

I am fine with a vacation registry.

If I could I would give cash/gift cards over shopping - every time.

Find the cheapest hotel room in town and give them the paper to the day they get married.

I went to a wedding where you paid for your plate upfront.

Say, "Thanks but that does not work for me."


Would you contribute to a couple's honeymoon fund? Send your answers to and in the subject line write “Honeymoon Fund Answer.” We will post your comments in the near future. Please keep your answer to fewer than 25 words. Thank you.

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