How to Maintain a Happy and Healthy Relationship in 2011 and Beyond By Vivienne Diane Neal

Time goes by so quickly, and we are only on this earth for a split-second. So, why not try to make the best of 2011 and beyond by making some important resolutions regarding relationships.

Whether you are in a business, family, casual, or committed relationship, there are certain shared qualities that men and women should strive for in order to maintain a happy, flourishing, and healthy union.

Before establishing any type of rapport with anyone, whether it is in the workplace, a romantic, spiritual, or casual merger, it is vital to know who you are first, because you usually draw people who have similar qualities or as the saying goes, “You attract what you are.” Ask yourself the following questions: What do I stand for or believe in? Am I open-minded and fair? Do I pre-judge others based on their color, features, age, size or gender? Do I possess good moral character? Am I trustworthy? Do I have a good sense of humor?

If you do not feel good about yourself, then you will definitely be a magnet for others who will have a low-opinion of themselves; they will pass on those same attitudes to you, and they will never value you as a human being. The name-calling, the offensive remark or the putting down of an individual will always be his or her main goal in life. These negative mind-sets, which can lead to physical abuse and violence, have no place in any type of relationship. If you are romantically involved with an abusive mate, remember, love is not supposed to hurt. If the office bully is your employer or an employee, morale and production will suffer and affect the company’s bottom line.

When it comes to dating, get to know someone first before getting romantically involved with that individual. The same can be true if you are seeking a friendship or a business partner. This means observing a person’s behavior around others, namely co-workers, associates, friends, family and parents. One should always follow his or her instincts. If something does not look or feel right, do not stick around for the outcome. If a person is abusive to family members, there is no way that individual is going to treat you any better. As the great author, and poet, Maya Angelou once said, “When a person shows you who they really are, believe them.” Do not think for one second that you can change someone’s destructive behavior, because you cannot. That caustic person will have to want to make a positive transformation on his or her own.

Communication is a key component in any relationship. Exchanging ideas involves not only talking but also listening. This does not mean that one has to agree with everything a person says; it just means that each person’s opinion is just as important. You can agree to disagree and still have a great connection.

Respecting one’s cultural, racial, religious, ethnic background, sexual orientation and political beliefs play an important role as to how well we hook up and interact with others. Certain behaviors and remarks may be acceptable by some but may not be sanctioned by others. Always think before you open your mouth, because once you say something, you can never take it back. Your choice of words, and I can attest to this, can sometimes get you in trouble.

Enjoying each other’s company is essential. While life is not always perfect, why continue to work or be with someone who is miserable and ends up making your life unbearable. All the pointless drama that people bring into your life will definitely bring you down. Your friend breaks up with her boyfriend, and you end up losing your significant other. Your lover despises his job, and you no longer love your work. People who are always complaining or finding fault about one thing or another will eventually have you following their footsteps. You can be unhappy or preferably carefree all by yourself.

So, Happy New Year. May 2011 bring you good health, prosperity and great friendships and a lifetime partner.

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