Monday, May 01, 2023

People Share Their Worst First Date by Miss Know It All

Miss Know It All

We asked folks to share their worst first date. Some will have you rolling on the floor laughing, while others will leave you gasping.

 

My date was 40 minutes late, so I left. Much later, I get a bunch of texts and posts about how I was a horrible person and a slut for not waiting for him.

 

I went to go pick her up and while chatting at her place we ended up staying just talking for about 50 minutes. I actually need 50 minutes because I timed it. She literally spoke for 48 minutes straight about her mental illnesses, her ex-boyfriend, family drama, falling out with her friends, and everything that was going wrong with her life she shared with me. Mind you, this was the first time she and I met in person.

 

Photo by Terricks Noah

I met this girl. She was a local in our town. I decided why not she is cute so I will talk to her. From the moment, I started talking to her, she was rude and had a general distaste for men. I stopped talking to her, and then it was like a split personality. She would then be nice and say sorry for how she acted, well a bit of back and forth of this and she wore me down. I am the one that agreed to a "date" just to shut her up. It was the most awkward "date" because I was just waiting for her to explode. We only talked for a few hours and then I was like, "well this was nice, but I have to get up early for work tomorrow. Maybe we can do this again." Therefore, I left. The next morning there was an explosion with her calling me every name in the book and being very insulting as if she had a genuine hate of men. I blocked her and never felt better. LOL

 

One time, after a date, rather than a kiss or a hug, a man shook my hand. It was very sad and limp.

 

Photo by cottonbro studio

I do not know if this counts since it was hours after our date, but the man I went on a date with got a little too intoxicated and wound up falling asleep during intercourse. I mean DURING intercourse. 

 

Met a man at the bar, knew he was older but was not sure how much older. We wound up hitting it off, and I went home with him. He had told me his kids were home but sleeping soundly. Turns out, he had several kids, his oldest being 19 (I was 21 at the time). Long story short, I went to high school with two of his kids. I literally snuck out of his window in case they recognized me.

 

Photo by Terricks Noah

Woke up at a man’s house and he offered me a shirt (so nice right? Chivalry is not dead… so I thought.) Anyway, he was in his closet for like 10 minutes. I was as confused, as to why he was taking so long to pick out a shirt. That is when he turned to me and said, “I just can’t find a shirt that screams, ‘See you never.’” I have never been so humbled.

 

After what I thought was a lovely date, I dropped him off at his house. He got out of my car, turned around, and threw a whole ass Philly Cheesesteak and a large Dr. Pepper at my face through the window. Turns out, he was on drugs. I sent him to rehab. There was no second date. 

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