People often think that falling in love is a matter of the heart and rarely realize what a major decision it truly is. They rush into love without taking the time to get to know each other. More often than not, this approach does not work out.
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It is not completely your fault. People feed us a narrative daily. Couples quickly go to bed in movies and other media, fall in love, and live happily ever after. Why does it not go as smoothly for you? The answer is, that it takes time to get to know someone and when you rush the process, it often spells heartache.
Here are the three top reasons you need to be super careful about whom you fall in love with:
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Heartbreak Is Bad for Your Body - When researchers looked at the brains of people who are heartbroken with an MRI scanner, they found their brains looked like those of people who experienced severe pain like a burn or electric shock. Our bodies are built for attachment, and breakups cause stress responses and trouble sleeping. Divorcees are significantly more likely to die earlier than their married counterparts are.
“Broken heart syndrome” is a real thing, and 90% of the cases are in women aged 58-75. There are many causes, but one of them is an unexpected loss such as being dumped or finding out someone has been cheating. For men, research shows an increased level of inflammatory markers in men with many breakups or years living alone.
Not that staying in a relationship, no matter what is the answer. Marriage is not as good for your health if filled with conflict. Unhappy marriages are also associated with health problems.
Therefore, marriage is better for your health, but only if it is with the right partner.
It Can Be an Emotional Roller Coaster - When you fall for someone who is not your ideal partner, there can be many difficulties. Even if you do not break up, the stress of chronic conflict can take its toll. How can you relax and get your work done when you are always arguing or tension is in the air?
There are also many painful emotions in a troubled relationship. You can feel hurt, angry, rejected, regretful, embarrassed, sad, and grief. Processing loss can be difficult and takes time.
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You Do Not Need Chaos in Your Life - Bad breakups and divorces can cause financial havoc. The average divorce is expensive with a report from Business Insider saying it has a $15,000 price tag and maybe even higher. Divorce can also mean that you may have to move or lose your home.
You may no longer be close to some of your family or friends. If you have children together, you are tied to each other no matter how much he or she has hurt you; peaceful co-parenting is idyllic for the wonderful development of the children. However, that is in lucky cases, a divorce can often mean custody battles, alimony, and tense child-rearing.
Discover what works for you in relationships. Take your time and learn to make honest decisions about love. Whether you are in a troubled relationship or you are unhappy about a breakup, get the help you need to improve your circumstances.