Monday, October 20, 2014

Meet Joi Miner, Author of Vices

Joi Miner, Author
Vices - The debut novel by Alabama Author Joi Miner
Page Count: 320
Genre: Erotic Drama
Publisher: Nayberry Publications
Release date: October 31, 2014
Preorders available: September 24, 2014


Everyone wanted a piece of Bonnie, but no one could… until Bonnie was at peace with herself.

Fresh out of an abusive marriage, 25-year-old Bonnie Jones is on a mission to recapture the youth her ex-husband, Keith, stole from her. With her young daughter, Zion in tow, she has to rebuild her life from the ground up. She finds solace in her poetry journal, cuddling with Zi, and the ability to leave her pain on the stage at the weekly open mic poetry readings.

When she has an itch she needs scratched or longs for companionship, she has her choice of partners to help soothe her suffering. Her one condition: they don't spend the night. After Bonnie falls asleep, her demons have their way with her. Eventually, they begin to invade her waking hours and no amount of writing, sex, or time with Zion can keep her from having to face them.


Five Things to Know About Author Joi Miner

When did you know that you were destined to be a writer? I have always loved to write, but I think I realized I was meant to do more with my writing when I started to get paid to write poems for my classmates in middle school and high school. It was around that time, too, that my creative writing teacher tried to get me suspended for plagiarism, because she said my writing was too good to have been written by a high school senior. I figured that could have gone one of two ways, I could have taken it as an insult and never written again or I could have, as I did, take it as a compliment and use it as motivation. I dedicated my first poetry collection to her.

Tell us a little about Vices?  Vices is an erotic drama. The main character, Bonnie Jones, takes you along on her journey to rediscovering herself after leaving an abusive marriage. You get to see her get into some very interesting fixes, get her heart broken, and find herself massaging away the pain and case of the lonelies by entertaining the company of the opposite sex. Vices is what I like to call “autobiographical fiction.” It’s my life with a little bit extra thrown into it. It’s a very raw story, but I feel like it’s relatable. We all have been where Bonnie is or know someone who has.  It’s my first novel and was picked up for publication by Nayberry Publications. It’s set to be released on October 31st of this year, my 33rd birthday. *Gasp I just told you my age*

Now tell us something personal about you. What is your favorite color? Blue. When I was in kindergarten, they told me that pink was for girls and blue was for boys. But, I liked blue. I’ve made it my business since then to wear as much blue as possible.

Do you write full-time or do you have another profession? I wish I was a full-time writer. For the last two years, I have been employed with Sykes powered by Alpine Access as a full-time work at home Customer Care Professional. I am also a full-time English/Creative Writing student at Southern New Hampshire University Online in my Senior Year (Class of 2015. Woohoo!). As if that weren’t enough, I am Owner and Co-Founder of a small for-profit company, Poetic Advisory, LLC.

What was the best advice you have received as a writer? The best writing advice that I have ever received was to never take writing advice. Lol. Everyone is different. No one can tell you how to be your most original self. There are even debates about the basic writing techniques, so you need to find and do what works best for you.


Find Joi Miner on her personal website:

And on Social Media:

Instagram @joihen
Twitter @joiminer
Facebook Fanpage:
Personal Facebook page:

Also visit my publisher, Nayberry Publications’ website and Facebook pages:

Let everyone know where they can find your book.  Vices will be available on Amazon, and

Monday, October 13, 2014

Meet Ronald Gordon, Author of A Daughter’s Rage

Ronald Gordon, Author

Five Things to Know about Author Ronald Gordon

When did you know that you were destined to be a writer?  At age five, I used to write stories about my day at school. The kids that were nice to me, I would make them heroes and the bad kids would be villains that we kicked out the school. I used to write about everything happening around me. My mother had a few psychic friends that would say I was born a writer and one day would become a famous writer. So, I guess you could say I've been writing as far back as I can remember.

When did you finish your first book and what’s the title? The Price of Life was completed 1980 but never published. A Daughter's Rage was completed in April 2014.

What is your favorite color? I like white because it's clean and pure. I'm kind of a clean freak. When thinking about furniture and decor, especially bedding, I like white. When it comes to clothing, I prefer darker colors, especially suits.

Do you write full-time or do you have another profession? Depression knocked me out of work in 2005. In the height of my depression in 2006, I was inspired by a Facebook friend to pick my pen back up. I did just that a week or so after that conversation. Doing that broke the seal on a buried passion. In writing, I found solace and peace of mind, while being physically and mentally abused by depression. I haven't looked back since, and can't imagine not writing.

What was the best advice you have received as a writer?  I once told the late Maya Angelou I wanted to be a writer and what I was saying was that I wanted to be a published writer. She told me, "Then write baby and remember the passion you put in will come out."'


A Daughter's Rage is available now on Amazon.

Get Social with Ronald:

Twitter: @mrkick316
Pinterest: @mrkickrg
Facebook Fan Page: Ron Tha Writer
Facebook Personal Page: Ronald Harvey Gordon

Monday, October 06, 2014

Amazon Authors Can Now Directly Connect With Their Buyers, Thanks to Amazon List Network

What if authors could know, and directly connect with those buying their books? Until now, the one unknowable, for authors on Amazon, Smashwords, Barnes and Noble, iBooks, and other online booksellers has been: "Who's buying my books? How can I directly connect and network with them?"

Now, authors can do just that. How? the answer is clear: Amazon List Network. ALN makes it clear they are not officially associated with Amazon; iFOGO wholly owns Amazon List Network, and the and .org domains.

ALN's Mission is to make it possible for the author/buyer connection to take place, by the placement of the ALN Logo inside/on book jackets, and select book manuscript pages. The logo, placed in eBooks, is directly linked to the author's custom ALN profile/group on the Amazon List Network. Print books provide the web address where buyers may connect.

Authors are able to: Zero-in and target buyers to their Amazon (and other bookseller) presence; Invite buyers to ALN where they can interact directly, and know when an author's next book is coming. Authors may also locate buyers, and plan signings and other events in their geographical area.

Furthermore, authors may invite buyers to ALN where they can interact directly; get to know who their Amazon Buyers are, by networking with them; make them special offers, and providie information they cannot get elsewhere.

Consider the number of authors and the millions of books on Amazon. The fact is, with ALN, authors may market their entire Amazon Catalog without the clutter. It's like doubling their Amazon Catalog and more; by selling directly from Amazon, and their own ALN website.

Simply put, authors may paste their Amazon Widgets on ALN (Amazon List Network), and get their own dedicated page they design to suit themselves.

The list of advantages is endless: including blogging, posting photos, videos, forums, discussions, book-trailers, posting excerpts, private email without SPAM. and more.

Best of all, membership in ALN, Amazon List Network is completely free.

Because there is power in numbers, buyers are attracted to a network where they can connect with authors, join the author's group or circle, get previews of their coming books; exchange messages, and more —none of which they can do on Amazon, Smashwords or any other bookseller site.

While many opportunites exist to help authors improve sales, and build a following, Amazon List Network offers more than we have seen elsewhere. Facebook is not the answer, neither is Twitter or other high-profile networks. ALN is personal.

See complete details at:

Not affiliated with Amazon, Inc.

Monday, September 29, 2014

Searching for the Right Soul Mate by Miss Know It All

Miss Know It All
People are always saying they can never find the right soul mate. There is a process that one must go through in order to find that special someone. Once you have met that person, the next step is dating.

Dating is a good way to get to know someone. By spending time with a prospective partner, you are getting acquainted with that individual. It is not a get quick fix or a rush to find a live-in lover or a spouse. So, avoid talking about marriage, having children, buying a house or moving in on your first date.

Desperation will immediately turn off a prospective love interest. Before jumping the gun, see if the person is ready to commit to a long-term and serious relationship. Don’t think the person is ready because you are anxious to get married. Let him or her decide if they are ready to take the relationship to the next level.

When the dating becomes more meaningful, it may lead to a courtship, which is a deeper level of commitment. During the courtship phase, people may contemplate living together or tying the knot.

Before bedding down with someone, get to really know that person. And remember, that ninety day rule may not work for everyone. What’s the rush? Giving up the goodies on the first, second or third date is not a guarantee that you will snag a sincere mate. Instead, you may be seen as a person with benefits, not to be taken seriously, and blow your chances of ever having a genuine and loving liaison.

There are no written rules that say you have to be romantically involved with the person you are dating. So relax, tread cautiously and have fun.

You can start searching for someone special by checking out One World Singles - An all inclusive dating site and the coolest place to meet the nicest singles from around the world. All colors, ages (18+) religions, ethnicities and lifestyles. Browse through thousands of profiles, upload your own photo and personal details, see who is online, meet your soul mate, instant messaging and begin having fun! If you are seeking marriage, love, dating, companionship, a soul mate, friendship, online romance or just a pen pal, then this site is for you.

Monday, September 22, 2014

Bringing You Romance Reviews First Chapters

The Science Fiction/Fantasy/Paranormal First Chapters is ready! In this issue, enjoy entire first chapters from Gail Koger, Nancy Corrigan and Laurie Olerich.

Choose the format which best suits you: pdf, epub or mobi/prc.

Happy reading!

Monday, September 15, 2014

Virtual Book Tour - Ultimate Fear by Kristine Mason

Kristine will be awarding a $5 Amazon GC to 5 randomly drawn winners via Rafflecopter during the tour.


When a deranged mother's grief drives her to replace her dead son over and over, obsession leads to murder...

Chicago detective Jessica Donavan will never stop looking for her missing daughter. Her obsession has destroyed her marriage, but the search is the only thing that helps keep her sane and her mind off of everything she’s lost—her husband and her baby girl. When she uncovers a string of unsolved disappearances and reappearances of a number of baby boys, Jessica turns to her soon to be ex, Dante Russo, a former Navy SEAL turned investigator for the private agency, CORE, to help her fit together the pieces in this perplexing puzzle. But as Dante helps her, she realizes just how much she still craves his support—and his touch.

Dante is still in love with his wife and would do anything to have her back in his life again. He’s been miserable since she left him to deal with the grief over their daughter’s abduction, never understanding how much he grieves as well. When Jessica tells him about the case she’s working, he jumps at the chance to take part in her investigation. He's hoping not only to save their marriage and ease his personal pain over the loss of their daughter, but to stop a serial kidnapper from taking another victim.

As Jessica and Dante work side by side, pregnant women begin to turn up missing or dead, and they start to uncover the consequences of another woman's unfathomable grief. The childless mother doesn’t just want a baby. She wants a newborn straight from the womb.

And when forced to confront the dark and twisted perversion of a mother's obsession, can Jessica and Dante find their lives again…or merely more death?


(Hero’s POV)

As Dante entered the six-story brick apartment building, he thought back to the day he’d first met Jessica. He’d been twenty-three, in his fourth year with the Navy and on a two-week leave. His dad had owned a used car dealership just outside of Chicago, and he’d gone there that day to hang out and check out the new inventory. Jessica had stopped by looking for something inexpensive and reliable. Before his dad or any of the other salesmen could pounce on her, he had. Growing up around the dealership he knew cars, so pretending to be a salesman hadn’t been difficult. The thing was, he couldn’t have cared less if she’d bought a car from his dad, he’d been more interested in acquiring her phone number. Man, she’d been something else. Those eyes of hers had had him tongue-tied. They’d reminded him of an Olive Matuka fishing fly, dark brown with flecks of olive green. Her long and wavy dark blond hair had emphasized her eyes and that smile…

He reached her apartment door. Damn, he missed that smile. He missed everything about her. The press of her naked body against his. Kissing her, holding her, loving her. He shoved the memories he’d been clinging to aside. Their marriage shouldn’t have to end. They were stronger than that, and after knowing and loving her for nearly seventeen years, he couldn’t picture not having her in his life. But he had no choice. Self-preservation demanded that he give up the fight and let her go before they ended up hating each other.

With that last thought in mind, he knocked on her door. After giving her a few minutes to answer, he called her cell. Before he broke into her apartment, he wanted to make sure she was indeed MIA. Otherwise she’d probably raise holy hell for invading her space uninvited. Since she’d never asked him inside before, he suspected there were things she didn’t want him to know about. Like how much her search for their daughter had escalated into a full-blown obsession.

When she didn’t answer his call, he opened up his lock pick kit and went to work. Twenty years ago, he’d never thought he’d be adept at picking a lock. Who knew it would take working as a criminal investigator to master breaking and entering.

The lock gave. He pocketed his tools, then turned the knob. His stomach tightened again. If Jessica was keeping secrets, now was his chance to discover them.

He inched his way into the small apartment, then froze. “Is that thing loaded?” he asked Jessica and eyed the .38 Special she pointed at his head.

* * * *


Kristine Mason, Author
I didn’t pick up my first romance novel until I was in my late twenties. Immediately hooked, I read a bazillion books before deciding to write one of my own. After the birth of my first son I needed something to keep my mind from turning to mush, and Sesame Street wasn’t cutting it. While that first book will never see the light of day, something good came from writing it. I realized my passion and found a career I love.

When I’m not writing contemporary romances and dark, romantic suspense novels (or reading them!) I’m chasing after my four kids and two neurotic dogs.



Buy Links:

Monday, September 08, 2014

So Your Best Friend Is Dating Your Single Parent by Vivienne Diane Neal

You and your best friend have known each other since childhood. You share everything, namely the same values, respect for each other’s ideas, opinions, beliefs, hopes, and dreams. You may not always agree with each other, but your friendship has withstood the time. And no matter what happens, good or bad, you’ll always be there to cover each other’s back.

Your parents have been divorced for years. Whether it’s your mother or father, eventually one of them may find someone, and start to date. And you’re okay with that because everyone deserves to have someone who is going to make them happy.

But suddenly, you discover that one of your parents is seeing your best friend. And now all hell has broken loose, because you believe that your comrade has betrayed you for having the audacity to date one of your parents. But one has to ask the following question: Why should you feel deceived because your parent is dating your best friend, who by the way happens to be over 18 years of age? There are no easy answers. But if you’re ever caught in this type of situation, consider the following:

If they share the same interests, that’s a good start, and if it’s a May-December romance, there is nothing you can do to change the person’s age. So live with it.

Remember, your parent and friend are adults, and have the right to see each other, whether you like it or not, as long as both parties are consenting adults.

If you really know and trust your best friend, there shouldn’t be a problem with your friend dating your parent.

Give your mother or father enough credit for having the good sense and excellent taste to have selected your friend as his or her companion. If you enjoy being around your friend, why shouldn’t your mother or father have the same privilege?

If you have a problem with your best friend dating your parent, ask yourself why; is there something wrong with your parent or your best friend? Do they have emotional, physical or psychological problems that can damage the relationship; are they bank robbers, ax murderers or serial killers? You get the picture!!!

Keep in mind, at this stage of the relationship, they are only dating, having fun and enjoying each other’s company; they are not planning to move in together, or run off to Las Vegas to tie the knot. And if it ever gets to this phase, you can serve as their wedding planner. After all, who knows your friend’s or parent’s idiosyncrasies better than you do?

The question you should ask yourself is: how important is this relationship to my parent and my best friend; remember it’s not all about you. This is not the time to be self-centered.

So if you want to maintain a never-ending relationship with your best friend, it is paramount to mind your own business, because a best friend is special and does not come along very often. 

Monday, September 01, 2014

Release Date Announcement for Deception in Plain Sight, a Crime Novel by Vivienne Diane Neal

Genre: Fiction


Christine Bailey, a naïve young woman of wealth and privilege, falls for and marries Awesome Petté, a charming man who is not what he appears to be. By using romance, lust and sex, he will worm his way into her life, ruin her financially, and destroy her parents’ billion dollar empire that has been in the family for over four generations.

Excerpt 1:

Awesome Petté and Christine Bailey were destined to meet. Both of their families were successful. Although, her family was more prosperous than his was. His family could not hold a candle in their world. Old money carried more standing than some Johnny-come-lately, which was what the Pettés were, arriving too late to the billionaires’ ball.  
The community center, where Christine worked, provided preparation and assistance to people who wanted to start their own venture or make improvements on an existing business. Volunteering her expertise in this area was one way to give back to the community.
Her parents would say, “It is your duty to help those who are less fortunate than you are.” Whether it was out of guilt for having so much given to her or just being altruistic, Christine would become a non-paying consultant to potential or current entrepreneurs at the center. 
When she first walked into the classroom, a feeling of ecstasy took control of her body. She could not comprehend why these emotions were starting to overpower her. She was never one to allow anything or anyone to distract her from her work.
What is going on here? Christine asked herself. What is happening to me? My panties are moist; my nipples are hard. I had better start meditating before I end up embarrassing myself. Finally, those feel-good sensations subsided.
Scanning the room, she took a deep breath and introduced herself. “Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Ms. Christine Bailey, but you may call me Christine.” She had to pause for a second. “I will be your instructor for the next twelve weeks. Before we begin, please, introduce yourself. Tell me why you are here; what do you hope to get out of this course, and what are your plans for the future.”
There were eight students taking the course. Each person gave some information about him or herself.
“I would like to open a daycare center.”
“My intention is to start a tech company.”
“Opening a clothing store has always been a dream of mine.”
“We can always use more eating establishments in our community.”
“I am very good at styling hair. My goal is to open a hair salon.”
 Suddenly, a voice interjected. “Hello, Christine. My name is Awesome Petté. I am taking this course because I plan to become a millionaire before age thirty.”
Christine was in a state of amusement. “Mr. Petté, are you trying to be funny? Did someone say you were awesome, and you could not take a joke?” Everyone roared with laughter.
“No! I am not attempting to be a comedian. My first name is Awesome. If you check your roster, you will see. My parents bestowed that name to me for reasons I do not wish to discuss. Perhaps, over dinner, I can tell you why they gave me that name,” he responded, gazing at her vertically.
By now, some of the students were beginning to dislike his attitude and saw him as an arrogant little man and a butt kisser.  If Christine had those same thoughts, no one in the classroom would ever know, because Awesome Petté had her completely under his control.
She now understood why those hidden sentiments exploded inside of her when she walked into that classroom. That fine-looking hunk was transmitting telepathic vibrations to me. Lord, deliver me from temptation.
While talking, Christine had trouble concentrating. She was fumbling over her words. At times, she was repeating herself. Students were beginning to notice her eyeballs fixated on Awesome. It was as though no one else was in that room but the two of them.
The class was supposed to meet for two hours, but Christine decided to end the lecture after sixty minutes. Everyone got the message: Awesome Petté was going to be her little pet.

Excerpt 2:

Christine finished her business in D.C. earlier than she had anticipated and returned home a week earlier. It was Friday evening when she walked into the house. She was ready to jump into Awesome’s arms and make love to him, but he was not home.
She went upstairs, unpacked, showered and got into her new sexy lingerie, which she purchased at an upscale boutique; she went straight to bed and waited for him.
Suddenly, the home phone rang. “You are in great danger,” the caller said.
“Who is this?” There was silence on the other end. Ten minutes later, the phone rang again. “Hello.”
“Awesome Petté is a deceitful person; he will break your heart.”
“Why do you keep calling?” There was a click. At first, Christine thought it was her mother but remembered she never gave her the home phone number.
Even if her mother knew where they lived and looked up the number in the telephone book or called directory assistance, it would be futile, because the number was unlisted.
It was probably a prankster, Christine thought.
The landline phone was old school; there was no way the caller’s number would show. There was no redial button, so Christine would never know who made that call.
It was after eight when Awesome arrived home. He went up to the bedroom and could not believe his eyes.
 “It’s good to see you. I thought you were coming home next week.”
Good thing I did not have a woman with me, he thought.
“My work with the client finished ahead of schedule. The company loved my presentation and did not see the need for me to stay any longer. Besides, I missed you; come to momma.”
This woman is going to be the death of me, he thought.
“I missed you too. Give me a couple of minutes to get myself together.” Knocking boots was the last thing on his mind. He took a shower and returned all dried.
“Oh, baby, you should have let the water run down on your searing body. It turns me on,” she purred.
“If you like, I can go back and shower my body with warm water and return dripping wet.”
“Stop it and do me as though we are participating in a lovemaking marathon.”
“Yes, your highness; now open wide.” He surged inside of her, releasing hot lava throughout her sensuous channel.
“Sweetie, you are outdoing yourself.”
“Thank you, ma’am, I am here to please you.” They stimulated each other for several hours until they both fell asleep.

* * * *

Release Date: October 31, 2014

Kindle Edition: $4.99

Pre-Order Purchase Link: Amazon

Monday, August 25, 2014

Coming Soon: Deception in Plain Sight, A Novel by Vivienne Diane Neal

Author: Vivienne Diane Neal
Genre: Crime, Hoaxes and Scandal
Release Date: Fall 2014


What happens when Christine Bailey, a young woman from an affluent family, believes she has met the man of her dreams, only to discover she has been living in a fool’s paradise? The handsome, charming, and cunning Awesome Petté will not only awaken her sexual inhibitions but will draw her into his sinister plot, which will ruin her financially and obliterate her parents’ billion dollar empire that has been in the family for four generations.


Alone in her majestic manor, Christine Petté knew something was wrong when she came home to an empty house and found a beautiful small chest on her husband’s desk. The wooden box, with its intricate handcraft patterns and sparkling gems, reminded her of a piece that one would find at an auction house or in a museum. 
She never questioned her husband’s business affairs, but some strange occurrences got her wondering about him, his business, and his inner circle of friends.
There were bizarre phone calls all hours of the night, secret meetings with individuals she never knew or met and packages delivered to the house by scary looking messengers. Then, someone broke into the house while she and her husband were dining at a restaurant in DUMBO, Brooklyn.
Her husband’s office was the only room ransacked. Furnishings, papers, and DVDs were scattered all over the place, but the intruder, as far as she knew, took nothing. Two thousand dollars in cash, a Cartier watch, and gold coins worth over five thousand dollars were in his top desk drawer, which were all visible to the naked eye. 
“Honey, what were they looking for, and how could they have missed those items, which were in plain sight?” she asked, reaching for her cell phone.
As she was getting ready to dial 911, her husband grabbed the phone out of her hand. “There is no need to call the police. It is Halloween; it was probably some kids playing a practical joke. Instead of adorning the house with raw eggs and toilet paper, they decided to remove the spare key from under the doormat, let themselves in and rummage through my office.  Nothing is missing. There is no need to get the police involved.”
A spare key under the doormat; this is news to me, Christine thought.
Some neighbors did leave their doors unlocked and would place an extra key under the mat or hide it in a flower bin. There were occasional break-ins, but major crimes rarely occurred on the quiet block.
She decided not to pursue the matter.  Her husband’s tone, body language and demeanor made it quite clear. 
Leave well enough alone. Let sleeping dogs lie dead.
The kind of business her husband was into might have been the reason for the break-in.
Maybe the prowler thought there were pieces worth stealing, she told herself.
He owned a shop, which sold second-hand junk. Often he would bring items home to restore before offering them to customers.
Since the Great Depression, the economy was in the pits. At the same time, gentrification was spreading throughout the borough like locusts circling cornfields, and high-end shops and restaurants were replacing mom-pop establishments. If three customers came into her husband’s shop, it was considered a good day.
Why someone would come into a home just to poke around and not steal a timepiece, coins, and cash, all worth over eight thousand dollars, did not make any sense to her.
But if Mrs. Petté thought these events were out of the ordinary, she would soon receive a wake up call that will send her into a hellish tailspin, leaving her asking: How could I have missed the deception my husband was exhibiting in plain sight?

Excerpts and purchase link will be coming soon.

In the meantime, check out her other books at the following links:


Monday, August 18, 2014

Pickup Lines: The Good, the Bad and the Downright Wacky by Miss Know It All

Miss Know It All
We have all heard them: the pickup lines that are supposed to pique your interest in the person making those lines. Some are funny; others are peculiar, but some are just downright risqué.

Recently, we asked people on several social media to post some of the pickup lines they have heard or used. Some of the lines were edited for clarity.

Now, if you choose to use any of these lines, do so at your own risk. J Enjoy.

& & & &

You must be made of chocolate. Because all I want to do is to lick you and eat you!

You look cold. Can I be your blanket?

You remind of my X, and I hate my X, but I like you.

What is your age?

Are those space pants? Because your butt is out of this world.

If I was a fly, I'd land on you first because you are the sh*t.

I'm sorry, I lost your number." When they say they haven't given it to you, you say "why not?"

That’s a nice dress. Can I talk you out of it? (This one was cited on a TV series.)

Here are some good & goofy pickup lines, that are from the World of the Techies.

Is your name Wi-fi? Because I'm really feeling a connection.

Are you sitting on the F5 key? Because your ass is refreshing.

You had me at "Hello World."

Want to see my HARD Disk? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it isn’t floppy.

You can put a Trojan on my Hard Drive anytime.

You still use Internet Explorer? You must like it nice and slow.

I hope you're an ISO file, because I'd like to mount you.

My servers never go down... but I do!

My 'up-time' is better than BSD.

Are you an angel, because your texture mapping is divine!

You've stolen the ASCII to my heart.

Are you a computer keyboard? Because you're my type.

You got me stuck on Caps Lock, if you know what I mean.

If you were a web browser, you'd be called a Fire-foxy lady

Are you from around here, because you have that silky creamy complexion that I don't see on many women this time of the year?

You walk up to a girl, barely lick the tip of your finger and then touch her with that finger tip, and say, "Looks like I need to take you home so you can change out of those wet clothes".

If I tell you, you have a beautiful body will you hold it against me.

Is that drink you’re holding hot "NO?" Oh it must be just you then.