Monday, June 26, 2023

Dating Expert Shares the 'Brutal Truth' About Single Parents in the Dating World: 'Stop Doing This Now'

A dating expert has shared the 'brutal truth' about single parents in the dating world - and why you should never let someone use their kids as an 'excuse' to avoid spending time with you.


Professional matchmaker and relationship expert Louanne Ward, from Perth, Australia said, 'Everyone knows that anyone who has kids will always put them first, but if someone truly cares about you, then they will also make time for you in a dating capacity. Do not allow somebody to use their kids as an excuse to breadcrumb you,' Louanne said in a clip on Instagram.

Photo by Vanessa Loring

Breadcrumbing is a behaviour in which one partner gives the other partner just enough energy, time, attention, affection, and affirmation to provide some of the elements of being in a romantic relationship, but never quite enough.


Louanne explained that single parents who do not really want to date and instead want to use their children as excuses commonly use breadcrumbing as a tactic.


Photo by Monstera

'Any logical person knows when they're dating a single parent - whether it's a single mum or a single dad - that parental obligations come first,' she said.


'So if you're dating someone and they keep saying to you, "Oh, my kids come first", then know that this is very much a convenient excuse for them to breadcrumb you with a legitimate reason to do just that'. 


Louanne explained that 'nobody' is going to say that their 'mummy or daddy life' comes before their kids and they will 'drop everything to be at your beck and call'.


Photo by RODNAE Productions 

But if someone feels the repeated need to 'continuously tell you or point out to you that their kids come first', they are using their kids as an excuse to have 'everything their own way rather than put in the required amount of effort to date someone'.


Louanne said 'it doesn't add up because once children have been dropped to school or put to bed, it's perfectly easy to 'pick up the phone and call that person you're dating'.


'Someone will always find room to connect with you even if they cannot go out on dates every second night [if they like you],' she said, and will put in the adequate amount of time and effort required - whether they have or haven't got kids'.


She said it is simply a 'dating tactic' single parents use to excuse their bad behaviour.


Louanne concluded: 'Dating is a two-way street; having children may make it harder for you but don't expect others to accept your crumbs. You have to put in equal effort in other ways'. 


Previously, Louanne revealed the one mistake single women make is ditching a man because he wants to help fix their problems rather than just listen to them. 


She said she thinks it is a 'massive red flag' if a man does not offer to help his girlfriend, wife, or the woman he is dating with their problems.


Photo by Tracy Le Blanc 

Simple Ways to Upgrade Your Dating Profile

1. Use photos representing who you truly are, not who you are trying to be.

2. Embrace your personality. If you attempt to play it safe, people will be unsure about how original and fun you will be in real life.

3. Make your profile a unique story, not a shopping list. Nobody really cares that you love cats, red wine, and walks on the beach.

4. Write a profile that is honest, from the heart, and shows your personality.


Source: Louanne Ward

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