A dating expert has shared the 'brutal truth' about single parents in the dating world - and why you should never let someone use their kids as an 'excuse' to avoid spending time with you.
Professional
matchmaker and relationship expert Louanne Ward, from
Photo by Vanessa
Loring
Breadcrumbing
is a behaviour in which one partner gives the other partner just enough energy,
time, attention, affection, and affirmation to provide some of the elements of
being in a romantic relationship, but never quite enough.
Louanne
explained that single parents who do not really want to date and instead want
to use their children as excuses commonly use breadcrumbing as a tactic.
Photo by Monstera
'Any
logical person knows when they're dating a single parent - whether it's a
single mum or a single dad - that parental obligations come first,' she said.
'So if
you're dating someone and they keep saying to you, "Oh, my kids come
first", then know that this is very much a convenient excuse for them to
breadcrumb you with a legitimate reason to do just that'.
Louanne
explained that 'nobody' is going to say that their 'mummy or daddy life' comes
before their kids and they will 'drop everything to be at your beck and call'.
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| Photo by RODNAE Productions |
But if
someone feels the repeated need to 'continuously tell you or point out to you
that their kids come first', they are using their kids as an excuse to
have 'everything their own way rather than put in the required amount of effort
to date someone'.
Louanne said
'it doesn't add up because once children have been dropped to school or put to
bed, it's perfectly easy to 'pick up the phone and call that person you're
dating'.
'Someone
will always find room to connect with you even if they cannot go out on dates
every second night [if they like you],' she said, and will put in the adequate
amount of time and effort required - whether they have or haven't got kids'.
She said
it is simply a 'dating tactic' single parents use to excuse their bad
behaviour.
Louanne
concluded: 'Dating is a two-way street; having children may make it harder for
you but don't expect others to accept your crumbs. You have to put in equal
effort in other ways'.
Previously,
Louanne revealed the one mistake single women make is ditching a man because he
wants to help fix their problems rather than just listen to them.
She
said she thinks it is a 'massive red flag' if a man does not offer to help
his girlfriend, wife, or the woman he is dating with their problems.
 |
| Photo by Tracy Le Blanc |
Simple Ways to Upgrade Your Dating Profile
1. Use
photos representing who you truly are, not who you are trying to be.
2.
Embrace your personality. If you attempt to play it safe, people will be unsure
about how original and fun you will be in real life.
3. Make
your profile a unique story, not a shopping list. Nobody really cares that you
love cats, red wine, and walks on the beach.
4. Write
a profile that is honest, from the heart, and shows your personality.
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Source: Louanne Ward
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