Monday, August 07, 2017

Staying in Your Own Lane When it comes to Your Adult Child’s Relationships by Vivienne Diane Neal

I am not one to tell a parent how he or she should act when it comes to their legal age son or daughter’s love life. However, there are exceptions. If the person he or she is involved with presents an imminent danger or is on America’s Most Wanted List then, by all means, take action.

Other than that, when it comes to your adult child’s liaison, try and stay in your own lane unless he or she asks for your advice. And even when they ask for your opinion, you must tread very lightly, depending on your answer. Because based on what we see or hear day in and day out from parents and children, friends and relatives, most people don’t really want your advice, especially if the kind of guidance, which they don’t want to hear.

One way to alienate someone is to continue hopping on the same subject: he is going to break your heart; she is only after your money; why would you want to be with someone who has a criminal record or is behind his or her child’s support? And then there are those who don’t like your partner because of his or her color, ethnicity, religion, lifestyle or political affiliation. Or without any rhyme or reason, will never accept your significant other.

Most of us have been in this type of situation where you know the person your daughter or son is involved with is a good for nothing idiot but your son or daughter can’t see this or opts to be in denial.

Depending on how old the man or woman is, he or she may make mistakes when it comes to selecting a soul mate, and hopefully, as they get older, they would have learned something.  But in the meantime, try to be supportive and analyze what it is about that person you object to or why you fill you always have to interfere with your child’s love life. Go back to when you started dating. How did your parents react when you brought home someone and started dating or ended up marrying that individual? Did you take their advice or did you choose to make your own decisions? I am not a parent but when I listen to friends and relatives, you don’t have to be one to know what it’s like to butt into a child’s relationship.

Parents will always say, “No matter how old my son or daughter is, he or she will always be my child.” And that is true, but once your child becomes an adult, you should also attempt to stay in your own lane when it comes to his or her choices.

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