Monday, June 10, 2013
Sustaining a Healthy Marriage - It Is Not As Hard As One May Think - Part 2
Love at first sight and thinking it is the right reason to get married so quickly may be a short-term sensation. Getting to know someone is imperative and should be a long-term endeavor. Be observant. How does the person treat his or her parents, other family members, friends, and strangers? Does the individual, you are attracted to, treat others fairly? Is he or she courteous, respectful, caring, and compassionate? How does the person behave in private and in public? Is the person appalling behind locked doors and a so sweet thing in public? The way a person behaves towards others is the same way he or she will deal with you.
As the saying goes, show me your friends, and I will tell you what type of person you are. If your future spouse loves to party all night and stay up all day with his or her friends, then this may be a sign that you will be spending many nights alone.
Never assume you have the power to transform someone’s negative mannerisms. If a person is an obnoxious jerk when you meet him or her, then he or she will continue to be an unbearable jerk during the marriage, unless there is some divine intervention.
Looks, money, and status alone will not tell you who a person really is, but how one handles unforeseen challenges in his or her life will. Beauty wilts, money can disappear, and a person’s position can change, for better or for worst during the marriage.
The questions you should ask yourself are what is important to me, and what do I expect to get out of a marriage. Are you looking for love, money, or security? If these are the only components that you are seeking in a marriage, then you should already possess these elements before committing yourself. If having children is important to you, it should also be important to your future spouse. If you are knee high in debt and you’re living from paycheck to paycheck, then perhaps you need to evaluate your financial situation before taking that big step.
What ever the reasons you have for getting married, take a long look at yourself and your future spouse. Examine the qualities you both take pleasure in, and see if those characteristics make for a good sense of balance in both of your lives. Discuss your likes and dislikes. Marriage is not an institution to be taken frivolously. If there are existing problems, unnecessary drama, or turmoil during the courtship and engagement phase, then the both of you should take time out, evaluate your state of affairs, or go your separate ways. You can always do well or bad by yourself.